Okay, for those of you who have two or more children, how do you do it? How do you balance a newborn's needs and an active two-year-old's needs? (As well as some of your own, like taking a shower or running errands?)
Today is the last day that I will have someone around to help me. My sister is leaving around 3 to head back to Los Angeles, and she has spent the last several days tending to Kaylin while I have Dylan. I have to say, I'm a little scared to be alone with both of the kids. Luckily, Dylan sleeps a lot and doesn't really cry much, but he does like to eat a lot, so I'm on the couch with him much of the day. This leaves plenty of opportunity for Kaylin to get into things. Part of the concern is that we're at my parents, so there's more for Kaylin to get into that she shouldn't (they never really baby-proofed) and the house is bigger, so I don't always know where she is like I did in our last place. Another issue is that we were not planning on staying at my parents this long--we thought maybe a few weeks, but it's turned into almost three months. I didn't pack a lot of Kaylin's toys, so I think she's getting bored and i'm not the most creative with organizing things for her to do (and again, we're at my parents, so I can't just put her in front of paints and let her go at it). I find myself putting in videos way too often to keep her close by and out of trouble, but I hate doing that. And unfortunately there's no parks nearby because at least that would be an option.
I am awaiting a sling I bought online, so I know that will help a bit. I guess this is just a time of adjustment for everyone, more complicated because we're not at our own house. I just want to make sure that Kaylin doesn't feel left out and that she's getting enough stimulation/attention, but I also don't want to sacrifice Dylan's care and attention. Anyone have any suggestions, tips or advice to share?
Another complication that I have no idea how to deal with is naps. Unfortunately, Kaylin never learned to nap or fall asleep by herself. I made the mistake of always holding her, rocking her, nursing her to sleep, and even up until the last few days, someone has to go into the room with her and lay with her in bed until she falls asleep. This is definitely not going to work with having Dylan. So i'm worried that her naps are just going to be dropped, and she definitely still needs them (as do I). Again, anyone have any suggestions? Okay, i'll stop sounding freaked and go get working on stuff.
3 comments:
thanks for being so honest about being freaked out. I obviously don't have any advice. But know that I think you're a rock star because I'm having just as hard of a time figuring out how to handle one!
Allison:
It is difficult to figure out at first--recognize that ALL moms have gone through this period of "what now?" I would suggest you try to get out to a park once a day, if you feel comfortable feeding Dylan in public. Let Kaylin get some energy out. Or try the library--maybe she can look at books on her own or you can read to her while you feed him. Maybe taking a car ride with Kaylin and Dylan at the same time in the late afternoon would give you a break after they hopefully both fall asleep. We're praying for you! Wish we could just drive across town to help!
Allison, I obviously know not from where I speak, but from observing moms in my church who have 4 or 5 kids the key seems to be discipline in the older ones. Our church doesn't have a nursery so the kids learn to sit through the service at a very young age. What I've noticed is that our pastor's wife (who has 5 boys and obviously her husband isn't helping her during the service) is only really training her youngest child (age 2) to sit still or obey her. The others (who range in age from 11 to 4) already do it because she was very firm with them from the time they moved out of babyhood and became toddlers. I've been paying special attention lately, trying to figure out how I'm going to handle two in church (especially when Steve is gone) and this is what I've noticed about other moms' parenting styles and how they get by with more than one! I think obedience in the older kids seems to be the key for a somewhat peaceful existence.
Remind me of all this when I have an 18 month old and an infant, okay? :) :) :)
And I think that for a time, especially when your newest baby is really young, you need to cut yourself some slack on the video thing. It's not going to hurt her long term, because when things are a little more under control you can turn the TV off. :)
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